User blog:ClockworkFirefly/Film vs FIlm: Days of Future Past vs The Avengers
(We cut to two gentleman sitting in nice read chairs with a bowl of popcorn on the table between them) Clock: Hello and welcome to Film vs Film with Clock and Gravy, I’m your host Clockwork< Gravy: and i’m GravityMan, but you can call me Gravy! Clock: Our goal is to review, compare, and complain about two movies with similar ideas, characters, etc. and give our opinions on each respective film. Gravy: And today we have our first installment with Days of Future Past vs The Avengers! Clock: First off we will have Gravy giving his thoughts on The Avengers, Ready buddy? (Gravy is holding a giant chainsaw with a devious grin on his face) Gravy: You know I am! Gravy: Now, I hated the Avengers. The entire plot was simple and generic as fuck. People with differences don't get along, suddenly big bad guy comes in and they need to move past their differences to beat their mutual enemy. Ends with love and respect and whatnot holy fuck it's generic. And they don't even try to put an interesting spin on it. The instrumental is average, nothing special. There is no real threat at all throughout the entire film as well. The only "major" death is the death of this dude named Colston or Coalslut or whatever the fuck I don't care, Clock: Coulson, Phil Coulson Gravy: O.K, because why should I care about this boring character who lacks any depth whatsoever? And while on the subject of the threat, let's talk about those random ass aliens. Clock: They are “The Chitauri” Gravy: SHUT UP!, Who the fuck and why the fuck Clock: Language! Gravy: Shut up Cunt-tain America!, are they there besides the cliche "take over the world" or get the ultimate power? There has been zero build up to these assholes at all! Like holy fuck suddenly the sky opens up and shits out some ugly motherfuckers and expects me to get who the fuck they are? Now Loki holy fuck what a pussy. The dude literally does nothing besides get his ass kicked repeatedly. Gravy: And who the fuck is this Hawkeye guy besides the fucking moody shit who fires fucking arrows. Someone could just shoot him in the fucking head, how the fuck is this guy a threat. Literally one punch from Cap and this dude is dead. There has been zero build up to any of the parts that actually matter whatsoever. The plot was cheesy and the visual effects were an overuse of cheap pans and zooms. Clock: Ok, Can I go now? (Gravy turns on chainsaw) Clock: Nevermind Gravy: The dialogue was decent, some made me laugh, I admit it, but even that couldn't get me invested in this excuse of a movie. It was just fanservice without explanation. Me: "Oh look purple guy who" Comic fans: "I know him fuck that's amazing!" Me: "who. also what is this fucking space whale" Comic fans: "Comics!" Me: "I've never read this arch, isn't the point of the movies to tell their own story." Comic fans: "Whaaat the Hulk's always angry???" me: "what the fuck does that even mean." Gravy: There was no real storytelling at all. The acting was good, but again, I couldn't believe the acting because I couldn't believe the story. Take away the fact that this is an adaptation from a comic and all you got is a pack of generic fuckboys in spandex and their giant green dildo fighting space invaders! Clock: Wow, You totally described The Avengers perfectly… Gravy: Whatever, how about your opinions on Days of Future Past Clock: Can I see that chainsaw? While it’s not necessarily a bad movie, it does have many flaws in it that doesn’t make it all spectacular. Gravy: So you like it? Clock: I do think it’s good, but it doesn’t really follow the comic storyline (I know many films do this but…) DOFP is one of my all-time favorite comic storylines in comic books and when I saw the movie, I really didn’t like some of the changes. Wolverine is sent back rather than Kitty Pryde because she has to send someone to do the dirty work rather than send herself and Kitty served an integral part in the comic storyline while Wolverine was just a secondary character in the comics. Also in the end, one major thing because it was being left open for later, we assume, since it was returned to a few times there were no definitive answers about whether they managed to save the future in the comics. The touching, satisfying PS in the film didn't happen at all, which is probably just as well since the kind of massive overhaul of the timeline done in the film wouldn't really have worked in the way that Marvel's time-travel operates. Gravy: Timey Wimey stuff! Clock: Yeah… It feels unnecessary in the franchise. The X-Men films were originally supposed to be a trilogy with X-Men, X2, and “shudders” The Last Stand. But Fox wanted to milk the cow and gave us many more films (Some Good: The Wolverine & FC and some AWFUL: Origins: Wolverine). It feels like this movie doesn’t live up to the awesome standards of the DOFP in the comics and more of a sub-par telling of it. Gravy: At least we can both agree Origins sucked balls! Clock: Definitely, The gigantic cast in the film makes it seem way too much. Now I know Civil War has a bunch of heroes and Infinity War will have lots, but in this movie there are WAY too many mutants! You even get some fan favorites in the comics like Blink and Warpath, but they’re pushed aside for Hugh Jackman love and A Hippie Xavier! I also feel like the old cast (Ellen Page as Kitty, Daniel Cudmore as Colossus, Etc.) feels underused and most of time rather make you wonder why the hell they're even there. Just cut back on some mutants and then there would be a bit more development in these guys. Gravy: Too much cast? While it wasn't balanced equally yes, it was certainly well balanced in importance. You wouldn't give an extra as much screen time as Cap right? Meanwhile with the Avengers you suddenly got Moody Katniss rammed in there with a small collection of characters from other films such as the Professor dude you don't really remember or give a shit about. Except, why the fuck should we care about the two dimensional Coulson? Clock: Coulson's death was a surprise, no one saw it coming and it caused The Avengers to realize they need to start to act towards this evil god. Moody Katniss would be Black Widow and she is an integral part to the team with her expertise in being a fighter and spy and these other small characters play other roles in older and newer movies such as Dr. Selvig. Gravy: No one saw it coming because no one cared enough to worry about this dude. Moody Katniss is Hawkeye, a great comic book character thrown into this because they didn't have enough time to give him his own movie. Clock: Alright, I'll give you that Hawkeye was a bit forced in, but you have to agree Days of Future Past isn't the perfect superhero film you're making it out to be Gravy: It definitely is the perfect film Clock: You can't find ANY flaws? Gravy: The only flaw I really have, which I barely even noticed due to the majestic-ness of it, was Jennifer Lawrence She was awful And Mystique's role is much much much smaller in the comics She isn't a good actress m8 At least in this film She has two faces Serious face and cry face She's so dramatic about her role in the world and whatnot and lines like "Believe me I didn't miss" when she shot Magneto or some shit came off as cliche and dull because of her bored tone. Clock: Despite my own fondness for the film, I will agree that the film’s plot is broken down into narrative chunks that ultimately don't tell much of a story. I’ll also agree that there are questions the film doesn’t answer like Where the hell is War Machine during this? And How is Bruce in control of Hulk if he’s “always angry”? But I still stand by the fact that this is a really good film in the superhero genre. Clock: Despite my criticisms about Days of Future Past, I do find it a good albeit flawed film. The performances for the most part are good with Michael Fassbender standing out as one of the best performances of the film. The action is great but it’s not as good The Avengers in my humble opinion. The effects are indeed fascinating in the film, it felt like I was in a dream a couple times. So it does have flaws and mistakes I will say that doesn’t make it spectacular, but it is one hell of a good time. Out of a 1-10 rating, I give Days of Future Past a 7/10. P.S. that Quicksilver scene is the greatest scene in all of FUCKNG history. Gravy: Haha Despite my dislike of the Avengers, it works very well as a child's film. The plot isn't confusing at the slightest and the actions scene are decent to say the least. The acting and dialogue are great and subpar in certain areas. As a children's film, I would give it a 7.5/10. very well as a child's film given the simplistic plot and lack of real depth Clock: Thank you all for coming in to read our own opinions about Days of Future Past vs The Avengers, We invite you all next time for our next battle Gravy: (Gravy pulls up chainsaw) And you BETTER come! Clock: Don’t worry my friend, they’ll come… Ciao! (Outro plays, The two critics are now back to sitting perfectly still) Hint for next battle Category:Blog posts